2010.06.01: No exercises
2010.06.02: Tram to Liberty Center, 10 minutes walk, Tram to Unirii, M Unirii – M Victoriei – M Obor – walk for 90 minutes – M Romană – M Unirii – walk for 10 minutes – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.03: M Piața Sudului – M Victoriei – M Obor – walk for 10 minutes – M Obor – M Dristor – M Titan – walk for 20 minutes – M Titan – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.04: M Piața Sudului – M Romană – walk for 20 minutes – M Romană – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.05: 20 minutes walk
2010.06.06: M Piața Sudului – M Apărătorii Patriei – 15 minutes walk – M Apărătorii Patriei – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.07: No exercises
2010.06.08: M Piața Sudului – M Victoriei – M Ștefan cel Mare – tram to Băneasa (it would have been easier had I taken the tram from M Aurel Vlaicu) – tram back to Ștefan cel Mare – walk for 30 minutes – M Universitate – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.09: M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – M Eroilor – 50 minutes walk – M Universitate – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.10: M Piața Sudului – M Aviatorilor – 60 minutes walk – M Aviatorilor – M piața Sudului
2010.06.11: M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – 40 minutes walk – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.12: M Piața Sudului – M Universitate – 10 minutes walk – by car a lot – M 1 Mai – M Basarab – M Victoriei – M Universitate – 10 minutes walk – M Universitate – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.13: walk 20 minutes
2010.06.14: M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – bus – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.15: M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – walk 15 minutes – M Victoriei – walk for 40 minutes – M Romană – M Piața Sudului
walk for 15 minutes
2010.06.16: M Piața Sudului – M Universitate – walk for 25 minutes – M Unirii – M Titan – walk for 20 minutes – M Titan – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
walk for 15 minutes
2010.06.17: M Piața Sudului – M Universitate – walk for 90 minutes – M Universitate – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.18: walk for 15 minutes
2010.06.19: M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – by bus – walk for 200 minutes – back with the bus to M Unirii – walk for 20 minutes
2010.06.20: walk for 25 minutes
M Piața Sudului – M Unirii – M Lujerului – walk for 20 minutes – M Lujerului – M Unirii – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.21: no exercises
2010.06.22: M Piața Sudului – M Universitate – walk for 5 minutes – go by car – walk for 10 minutes – M Romană – M Piața Sudului
2010.06.23: M Piața Sudului – M Aviatorilor – walk for 30 minutes – M Aviatorilor – M Universitate – walk for 75 minutes – by car to Piața Sudului
2010.06.24: M Piața Sudului – M Universitate – walk for 40 minutes – M Universitate – M Romană – by bus until Ion-Luca CARAGIALE bus station – walk for 25 minutes – M Victoriei – M Unirii – M Timpuri noi – walk for 40 minutes until home
2010.06.25: No exercises
2010.06.26: No exercises
2010.06.27: 15 minutes walk
2010.06.28: M Piața Sudului – M Victoriei – M Gara de Nord – train – bus – 10 minutes walk
2010.06.29: 30 minutes walk
2010.06.30: No exercises

At the class, in the first workshops at least, participants (including me) had to write some texts (some at home, some at the workshops themselves).

Some feed-back:
- The person holding the class gave almost entirely positive feed-back to the participants; I began to think that it was somewhat sugaring things up, to make them look positive – “Oh, you write so well”; “I like the way in which you express”; “Do you also write in your spare time?”, etc.; … that is, until it got to me; the feed-back stopped being overall positive; some writing of mine was considered without any substance, no metaphors involved; I am, supposedly, bad at writing philosophy; my skills are better suited for SF (Science-Fiction) works; I’m not that good at showing how people speak in real life; I’m not that good at presenting things realistically;
- Trying to make a good comment to compensate for the bad feed-back received (I guess), at some point, while reading to the whole class my paper, the teacher said about this quote:
“Viața e doar atât – curajul fizic în fața morții” (“Life is just this – the physical courage in front of death”)
that this is a good idea; it was awkward to explain that the very first thought that he liked was not mine;
- At some point we did some exercise in which we had to present ourselves in 3 lines, each with 14 characters (including spaces) exactly; my thoughts about me were:
a. I am a machine (“Eu sunt mașină”);
b. Follow the rule (“Urmează regula”);
c. Get a result (“Obține rezultat”);
The person holding the workshop was unimpressed by my lack of emotions and challenged my view;

So what was funny?
To me, the funny part was to discover my weaknesses and my (rather big) inadequacy to a group composed mostly of people which wrote and read a lot; it was very funny to compare myself with others and to see how am I perceived by others; quite cool; it was me, totally different than the rest of the group; how nice!

Two thoughts and a conclusion:
- I couldn’t make a difference between the two composers; I didn’t know when did one composer’s song ended, and when the other one’s started;
- I only recognized a part of a song by Chopin; that’s it;
- Conclusion: right now, to me, classical music is hard.

Bellow you’ll find some questions about the sins in Orthodoxy. I’ll first explain what my view on that specific sin is, and then the answer to that of the priest I go to. I consider this to be very open.

The answer’s scale:
1 – Completely wrong
2 – Maybe wrong
3 – Neutral
4 – Maybe right
5 – Completely right

About emigration

I consider that a Christian can save his soul wherever he may live. Had that person lived in a country where Orthodoxy is not a confession accepted even by a minority, that person can still be an Orthodox. I don’t believe that there are any correlations between saving one’s soul and the country where one lives;
4 – you need to find an Orthodox community, other than this is fine

Regarding attention in church

First of all a quote by C. S. Lewis on rigid forms of worship
“The advantage of a fixed form of service is that we know what is coming. Ex Tempore public prayer has this difficulty: we don’t know whether we can mentally join in it until we’ve heard it – and it might be phony or heretical. We are therefore called upon to carry on a critical and a devotional activity at the same moment: two things hardly compatible. In a fixed form we ought to have ‘gone through the motions’ before in our private prayers; the rigid form really sets our devotions free. I also find the more rigid it is, the easier it is to keep one’s thoughts from straying. Also it prevents getting too completely eaten up by whatever happens to be the preoccupation of the moment (i.e. the election, or what not). The permanent shape of Christianity shows this.” (from The Business of Heaven)
So, I don’t think that attention in church on the ceremony is that important. On the other hand, I don’t think about God things when in church, my mind wonders around.
2 – actually, despite what C. S. Lewis says, one should pay attention in church at the ceremony.

About church time

I consider that 20 minutes per week going to church is the required minimum.
2 – Make that two hours per week.

On praying time

10 minutes per day for actual praying is the required minimum.
2 – It should rather be 10 minutes in the morning + 10 in the evenings = 20 minutes per day.

About the church one chooses to pray in

I don’t think that, from God’s point of view, there is any difference with my presence at a certain church (Orthodox one, of course) or within a certain community. And even if there is, there is only a minor importance.
3 – Perhaps;

About praying in public

I think I should restrain making the sign of a cross while I’m around people that know me, so I won’t get any beneficial treatment by them for praying. Making the sign of a cross while in a bus with strangers is fine, though.
2 – If you pass by a church, you should make the sign of a cross;

About presenting your faith in public

Let’s say I’m in a discussion and my main argument has something to do with Christian arguments. Should I invoke such an argument? I would say no.
2 – Perhaps you should say yes.

On being proud

I consider it a sign of health. Sure one can be modest, as long as it has reasons to be modest.
3 – Neutral.

About valuing oneself

This is very important to me. I don’t say I’m a good man, but I might as well think like this. A lot. Just might.
3 – Neutral.

About loving God

Love God? For being perfect? For being impossible to be anything than perfect? Sorry, that’s not for me. He doesn’t seem to deserve it. Sure, I like Him a lot, it’s a model, and I value Him. And if you put it in prayer, I love Him. But, for one reason or another, I love people who strive to be better a lot, rather than loving God.
4 – Although not a perfect thinking, it’s not that bad.

On the fear of God

I fear hell. I fear hell as hell.
5 – That’s fine.

About making use of religious affirmations in a pejorative way

See above – “I fear hell as hell”. To me, that’s VERY fine to say. Yes, it’s a bit funny on the joking side, but it’s fine.
3 – Neutral.

About saying small funny things on God

My favorite quote is this:

“In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.” It’s by a person who values atheism – Ellen DeGeneres.

Is it anything wrong with it? I think not.
3 – Neutral

About saying big, though jokes on God

I like jokes. And I like jokes about God. Since a joke is mostly by a surprise, jokes with God are actually covering my top 10 jokes ever. They actually are the funnies jokes I know. Is it wrong to make jokes on God? I’d say not.
2 – It depends, but you rather shouldn’t.

On laughing

There isn’t such a thing as madness laughter. One can laugh in a loud voice, this is very much permitted. It’s good sense.
3 – Neutral

Regarding lies

Up until a point, I think it’s a sane thing to do. Making a positive remark (yet false) on someone else, to make that person feel better is a good way of lying.
2 – You should rather avoid lying.

On fasting

I don’t buy things which will prevent me from fasting. Yet whenever I’m invited to eat something, or I’m in a public place, I don’t fast. Ever.
1 – Fast. Always. It shows that you listen to the principles of the Church.

Regarding state rules

I don’t value them all that much. They’re there, ok, but from a Christian point of view, it’s not mandatory to respect a rule which you don’t personally prefer.
2 – You should rather respect State rules.

About caring about the looks

I tend not to care about dress code and other stuff related to this, up to a point (so being clean & smelling nice is important, looking top notch isn’t).
5 – True!

About politeness rules

They’re not that important.
2 – On the contrary, they are.

Regarding the importance of Holidays

I value them, they’re important, but just as a formal thing. Not that important to go to church that day or spend it in a special way.
2 – Holidays are important.

On working on Sundays

I have the habit of working anytime, don’t really care about Sundays. I don’t plan to work on Sundays more, but if it’s a thing I must do, I do it.
1 – That’s false. Working on Sundays is prohibited.

Bible studies

I shouldn’t set standards and objectives for reading the Bible.
1 – False. Out of no standards usually come no results.

The aim of life

The aim of life is mostly making good deeds, while following the 10 commandments (avoid, as possible, sinning). Praying is also fine, but not that much. Thus, life is mostly applying a code of ethics (being like a machine – rules and regulations applied to the maximum), while striving to do good deeds (and sometimes pray). To better perform all these tasks – being ethical, doing good deeds, even praying – one has to improve oneself (continuous self improving, via either reading or life experiences). This is the aim of life. And why? To prove by these methods that one loves God.
5 – You’re right!

Health

God really wants me to be healthy.
4 – Excepting the fact that sometimes an unhealthy period of time may trigger some good-for-the soul thoughts, yes, God wants you to be healthy.

Ecology

This is a very important aspect for an orthodox. Put emphasis on this one.
4 – Also put emphasis on the ecology of the soul, not only the nature. Start from there.

Desires

If the aim of life is the one described above, simple desires (wasting time, sitting and doing nothing, eating, playing games, watching movies), if they don’t have a very specific meaning (they aren’t good deeds, they don’t contribute to overall health, they make me improve in a not-that-rapid way – so I only improve little while watching a movie, instead of reading a book), should be, mostly, dismissed. Eating sweets, for example, is pure pleasure, yet unhealthy, so, mostly, it should be dismissed. Listening to poor quality music is just for fun. I can still do any of these, but they’re no real use to me. Thus, life is mostly the life of a machine – desire becomes irrelevant, I become a machine following rules and regulations.
5 – True.

So, quite a few changes in my life starting from this. Thanks for listening.

For example, staying in Romania is a definite answer for me due to the opinions of Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI on the subject.

Find out below what has changed since then.

There are two things which I considered regarding emigration:
a. My duties to the past of the country you belong to (people died trying to protect the liberties I currently enjoy, for example);
b. Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI said so; It’s that simple;

How did things change?
a. I know I have a duty for my country; But I also know I have a duty for other countries also; People died everywhere for the gift of liberty, for the values of democracy, for the virtues of life; My duty is universal;
b. In the blog post about Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI I wrote:

The writer I analyze in this blog post considered that there are two kind of people in this worlds: some which consider that the fact that they were born within the borders of a country comes as a mere statistical probability (you have no connection to the land you were born on), while there are others for which the past matters a lot and live with an eye into the past.

Well, while I admire Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI’s view and values of the world, I don’t necessarily share them all; So, I don’t think I have the same value regarding the place I was born (Romania); I don’t think that being born in Romania is a statistical happening, but I also don’t think that I have a duty to the Romanian people for being born here.

In a few words, this is how my values have a bit changed.

Common traits for Hungary, Serbia, Hungary and Austria

A lot of nice things happening on the street:
a. People having coffee in cafes;
b. Lot of closed streets, dedicated to walking;
c. Rather large sideways;
d. Lots of benches;
e. Sitting on the grass was allowed;
f. Dogs were everywhere;
g. Stray dogs were close to nowhere (I’ve seen one in Serbia);

Lots of emphasis put on bicycles:
a. There were bicycle red lights;
b. I’ve seen passages dedicated to bicycles;
c. How about special places for parking bicycles?
d. A lot of roads had signs dedicated to bicycles;
e. Due to road taxes, parking, pollution taxes, having a car was rather expensive;
f. Finally, a lot of people had bicycles;
g. There were a lot of people on vehicles other than cars – bicycles, bikes, and other rather uncommon vehicles in Romania;

Little emphasis put on advertising:
a. A lot of advertising was done in dedicated places (something like a round cylinder with rotating ads, or an advertising bus, or a panel with advertising);
b. Most advertising was non-intrusive (it was at a rather reduced level);
c. Stores who advertised their products did this in a rather non-intrusive way (not too much advertising);
d. If there was a multinational company present in a country, the architecture of the store was still the one in the city, and not what you’d expect from a 21st century company (modern, glass, steel); So, if it was, let’s say, a McDonald’s, it would look like a typical building in that city/town, with just minor advertisements;

About the good old looks of some buildings
a. What struck me most in places like Subotica, Budapest, Vienna, was the fact that there were a lot of old buildings; You could go for minutes and minutes via foot and still find old buildings to shoot; I’ve seen places in Bucharest where there are some old buildings, or streets with old buildings; But to see (almost) full cities made of old buildings – well, that’s something!
b. To make an (unwelcoming) comparison, to me, the best looking old buildings in Subotica, Budapest, Vienna, looked better than the ones I’ve seen in Romania;
c. A restored building usually still had an air of an ancient construction;
d. From time to time (mostly in Vienna and in Budapest), I felt that I could be placed in any given spot in that city and still find something beautiful to shoot;
e. Some places had an interesting mix of old and new – and it almost never felt awkward;

About green spaces
a. There were lots of parks and trees, and green areas;
b. Most green areas were nicely taken care of;

About sidewalks
a. Most sidewalks had a pretty small height (unlike those I’ve seen in Romania);
b. Most sidewalks had special facilities to go on them by a wheel vehicle (wheelchairs, roller blades, strollers, bicycles, for example);

About exceptions
a. I’ve seen from time to time either stray dogs, or people living in the street, or graffiti; But, to me it was an exception which made the overall impression even better; If one piece of the whole isn’t as good as the others, then it’s fine;
b. Exceptions also helped me consider the cities as made by humans; From time to time I got the impression of seeing things built by something more than human;

Regarding beggars
a. I’ve seen quite a lot of street people in Budapest, Hungary; There were also some beggars in the rest of the cities I’ve been to; To me it’s quite a paradox: on one hand you see luxuriant living, nice buildings, beautiful people and on the other hand there are people who can barely survive; That’s also part of the capitalist world;
b. In Bratislava I’ve seen one box with indications to put food in that box, rather than throwing it at the garbage; It’s some sort of recycling;
c. The performing artists on Vienna’s street were very good at what they did;

Specific insights & pictures

2010.03.19 a. Romania – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.19 b. Hungary – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.19 – 2010.03.28 a. Serbia – places photos (by Jakub PILCH) – view full screen

2010.03.19 – 2010.03.28 b. Serbia – places photos (by Olivian BREDA) – view full screen

2010.03.19 – 2010.03.28 c. Serbia – places photos (by Agota JAKUS) – view full screen

2010.03.19 – 2010.03.28 d. Serbia – training photos (by Agota JAKUS) – view full screen

2010.03.19 – 2010.03.28 e. Serbia – training photos (by Justyna FRYDRYCH) – view full screen

2010.03.28 – 2010.03.29 Hungary – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.29 a. Austria – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.29 a. Austria – places videos

2010.03.29 b. Slovakia – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.29 b. Slovakia – places videos

2010.03.30 – 2010.03.31 Hungary – places photos – view full screen

2010.03.30 – 2010.03.31 Hungary – places videos

2010.03.31 – 2010.04.01 Romania – places photos – view full screen

What insights did I get by visiting these countries?

a. From time to time things got exciting; I felt a bit as the times when I came to Bucharest and living on my own; Pretty cool;
b. A change on my view about immigration (this decision was mostly made prior to the trip, but it was cleared in the trip; there is no relation between point b. and c. or d., they’re independent decisions);
c. Some thoughts on bullying; (I also had similar thoughts on gossiping – it’s just an act in one uses someone else’s actions to gain power)
d. Regarding my (little-to-none) aggreession.

I enjoyed the trip very much and had some good insights.

According to Wikipedia,

Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.

My thoughts on it:
1. Bullying requires an imbalance: the aggressor has power, while the victim is weak;
2. To make things worse (see this quote – Mathew 25:29 on some vicious circles), bullying gives even more power to the aggressor, while the victim gets weaker;
3. The thing that I dislike most about bullying is that I associate it with leading via having a thick skin; You impose your values on the other person via force;
4. As said at the post on aggression, “Feedback should be focus on the idea, not on the person” – one basic theory states; Opposite to this, aggression (and bullying) is, by its nature, an attack on the person, instead of the idea;
5. Have I bullied? Yes, quite a lot in the non-Orthodox period of time (prior to being 15), and some afterward;
6. I noticed something about the bullies in my life: I can never be a friend with someone who bullies me and I have always had problems building friendship with persons whom I bullied; I think that due to its nature (a combination of aggression, intolerance to the other party and attack on the person, not on behavior or thought), bullying is one of the surest way to ruin a friendship;
7. What’s my response to bullying? When I was little (about 3 years old), I was at my aunt’s house for long period of times; She was a teacher and had to leave me from time to time alone in the house; One day she comes home and sees me sitting on the floor (facing the opposite direction), the (previously locked by key) bookcase opened, and some books on the floor; And I was holding a book, tearing it page by page, and continuously saying – “You should not tear apart books”; Until today, the solution I found when I was 3, is still valid: keep on doing the things you do, despite all;
8. More than this, I tend to develop (so, when forced into not doing one thing, I tend to do that thing even more, despite everything);
9. I always thought that after some age, bullying stops (from both the doer and the receiver); I was wrong;
10. How do I encourage bullying from others?
a. In using humor, I tend to mock everything, even myself; This may be interpreted as an invitation to be mocked by others in a harsher way (bullying);
b. Regarding my non-aggression, this may seem as an invitation to be bullied by others;
c. Some atypical things about me (both behavior, and thinking and even looks) may encourage others to consider me a victim;
d. My life’s credos (which include zero revenge and punishment to others) may encourage perpetual bullying;
Personally, while the things above may be considered as an open invitation into bullying, I don’t think it should be so; Bullying has no excuse; It’s just wrong;
11. What’s a more refined way of bullying? Using others as mere tools into getting your aims;
12. Bullying may be considered a form of “Code Red” – a euphemism for a violent extrajudicial punishment in “A few good men” (a favorite film of mine); As said about doing military, I don’t consider that forcing an action is a solution to anything; Why is Code Red wrong? First of all because it’s forced, and second of all because it annihilates any option from the part of the victim; What could the victim do? Nothing; “A few good men”, although not the top movie I like, is one of my favorite movies; One message is simple: Code Red can have disastrous effects, while stopping others in doing Code Red is a best practice;

In conclusion, I will try to avoid bullying others, since I’ve seen some of its bad effects on me and remembered some past events.

Here goes:
1. I’ve done Karate (Shotokan and Kyokushin kaikan styles), I now do some other sports, such as weight lifting and running, and I think I have a pretty good physical condition; Yet, I don’t consider that one should be just a bit of an aggressive with others; Me – I tend to think I have power, but I would prefer not to use it; I like to think of myself as powerful, but non-aggressive;
2. At Karate Shotokan, I had to do some fights (simulated, not real), and one aim of the exercises was to hit the opponent in such a way that the person could only feel a pinch; So you do a real hit, but at the end of the blow you stop just in time not to do real damage; I had problems coordinating my punches, and to solve this, I hit with real power, but not on target, but rather near the target; Thus, instead of hitting the body, I was hitting the air; The same algorithm can be applied to aggression – I find it difficult to control the “right” amount of aggression to use and thus, I avoid aggression altogether;
3. To me, although baptized when I was a little baby, the Orthodox life began mostly when I was about 15; Prior to being a practicing Orthodox, I tend to think of myself as having aggressive behavior; Therefore, I tend to associate aggression with non-Orthodox thinking;
4. I also like father’s Nicolae STEINHARDT thinking in “Happiness Diary“; He says something similar to this: he knows he contradicts 1 Corinthians 6:18-19:

¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

(this quote says that fornication is the most compromising, and fully engages the human being). In spite of that, he considers the sin of being upset and angry is much worse; He then gives the example of a person who enters a store, a bus, a tram, an office or sits at a queue, is pissed off and yells, says bad words and steps away from typical behavior; That person, Nicolae STEINHARDT claims, totally breaks the connection with God; The argument is that these bad words are not simple things as being upset, but show a human spirit in total opposition with the world created by God; He then gives the quote from Saint Apostle James (James 3:2):

² We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

5. I tend to be aggressive in communication via ideas, not raising voice; So, I tend to say hard truths and sometime offensive opinions; To me, this is too close to being truth to yourself to change it;
6. “Feedback should be focus on the idea, not on the person” – one basic theory states; Opposite to this, aggression is, by its nature, an attack on the person, instead of the idea;
7. What’s the reply to aggression? How to react when being attacked? My favorite writer in this life, Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI, was interviewed by “Adevarul” and had an algorithm similar to this: in order to disarm aggressiveness, you have to let it pass by you, as difficult as it may be; He also said that you can have a dialog with violence acts only you admit their validity;
8. To me, the aggression (be it verbal or physical) is a sort of stress; What’s the answer to stress? How about the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response? I like this reaction: “Many animals freeze or play dead when touched in the hope that the predator will lose interest.” (Wikipedia)
9. Thus, my reaction to aggression is simple: I do nothing, say nothing; You have to be very close to me to receive a reply on an aggressive note; Other than that, any kind of aggression (physical or verbal, made by yourself or a social group) gets one reply and one only: silence and ignore; Then I have to apply my favorite quote, from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines movie:

Terminator: “Desire is irrelevant. I am a machine!“

After an aggression, I still have to be a good Christian; This passage (Matthew 5:43-48) applies:

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

10. Recently, I’ve had the occasion to see this pattern repeatedly – on one hand non-aggression is seen as a lack of maturity and to get more mature I need to do military service; First, for the non-aggression, seen as a lack of maturity – I think this is a misconception; What’s power? Is it being able to control yourself? Is it being able to do what you like and not do what you don’t like? Is it having physical power? Because I think I have most of these; Or is it, at some people consider, an ability to impose your point of view on others using manipulative tactics? To me, the latter affirmation is false;
11. Now for the part with “to get more mature, one needs to do military service”; What would military don’t do to me? It won’t bring me any more physical force, more structured thinking; What would the military do to me? Learn (in one way or another) how to handle a Code Red (a euphemism for a violent extrajudicial punishment in “A few good men“), how to blindly follow orders (this is so not like me) and finally how to deal with some imposing things onto others (via brute force); Army might also be associated with just a difficult time from which might get some insights; My answer to a Code Red is simple: if I think I’m right, I will do my best not to change my behavior; I don’t agree with following orders and rules just for the reason of following order and rules; I consider manipulation via brute force as a wrong thing; Finally, while the Cabirian model of solving a crisis (smile with optimism in life, no matter how harsh life is), I don’t consider that self-torture in any way can bring very good kind of insights; A crisis may be a good way of learning things, or it may just be a traumatic experience;

These were my thoughts on aggression.

What’s the meaning of word “popular”? Borrowed from the Latin popularis in 1490, originally meant common or “belonging to the people”. The use of the word popular to mean the “fact or condition of being beloved by the people” is seen originally 1601. (Wikipedia)

So you have two options:

• Acting strictly with rules (politeness code/ethics/morale);
• Being lax (to very lax) with rules (less politeness/ethics/morale);

My insight is that the first version leads to a bit of unpopularity / lack of leadership.

Leadership is also associated with taking initiative (a.) and with imposing – with just a tiny bit of aggression – one’s values. I personally have some problems with both of these.

These were my insights on leading on the recent training course.

1. At the “Enjoy the colours of my society” training course there were two defining things on laughter (for my jokes):

• One person is eating breakfast; He makes some complicated calculations on how to eat a sandwich; I tell him just this: “So you need complicated calculations to eat a sandwich?”; He gets an insight and he bursts into unstoppable laughter; Not long afterward, we’re at the training; 20 persons; I say, among others, that “I do Search Engine Optimization”; The person had a similar reaction to this; Everybody was silent (including I), no one was laughing, that person laughed; The person was even criticized (as a joke, but still) for the burst of laughter;
  My analysis – the initial laughter at breakfast created a small bond and kind of reaction (although I talk seriously, I can make a joke and it’s hard to resist not to laugh); Then at the training course, even if I was serious, and I made no joke, that person got an insight, and entered a pattern; The person couldn’t stop; This is just awesome: I say “I do Search Engine Optimization” and one can’t stop laughing; Good level for telling jokes;
• One other person laughed very silently most of the time (with others), and in a bit peculiar and loud way when I told some jokes / made some insights; Although it might have been a bit embarrassing to laugh loudly, that person still did it;

So, what’s the conclusion? I’m in the heaven of jokes: making people laugh even if there are some restrains that would typically prevent them (what would others think when they are laughing); To me, this is the one thing that can get me closer to a person; I became as close as one as I can get as a friend to the two persons above; The first person was the only person who came to me with a bottle of alcohol and I didn’t say no to (and it happened twice), while with the other one I talked (why do you interpret it as laughter?) a lot; Why the friendship with the two? Due to the laughing connection;

2. At the same training course, we had to say if some sentences were true or false; In my group, the third sentence was:
“Cultural diversity can be promoted without intercultural learning”
I was surprised that my answer, agreed by the whole group:
“Cultural diversity CAN be promoted w/o intercultural learning, BUT intercultural learning helps A LOT”
was funny;
Dissection of a joke:
a. The joke has the structure of Radio Yerevan jokes;
b. It’s a bit of a surprise, considering that most other answers were typically yes or no;
c. I made other types of jokes, so perhaps it was just a reinforcement of previous jokes;
Anyhow, I don’t know what of the previous reasons made people laugh and this joke be included in the list of memorable stories in the last day; Thus, I can’t readily repeat the pattern;

3. If you think humor is surprising, let’s talk about serious stuff; We were asked why would Brazilians (just an example) be allowed to participate in European Union programs? And I answered, as a joke, that they had an European soul, which proved to be right (although with different phrasing); Quite surprising;

4. To me joking about anything proves that a rule exists; So, if I joke about Snow White, this means that Snow White is something that should generally be taken seriously – Exception that proves the rule; You can apply the same logic to any other entity – countries, nations, genders, religions, political views, habits, etc.; If I joke about it, it means that on a primary level I think it’s something to be taken seriously;

5. There’s an expression I like: “I don’t discriminate, I hate everyone equally“; To me, joking about everything is a good way of non-discrimination; As a matter of fact, I tend to joke more about things I like best (see below);

6. Humor about God; I like this quote from Ellen DeGENERES a lot:

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

Actually, this is my favorite quote ever; It is an insight, nothing attacking or discriminating about it (so I think); Yet other jokes about Jesus, God, and other celestial creatures are funny to me; To put it plainly, a joke about God is more likely to be funny to me than a typical one; The Orthodox church is not really at ease with this kind of jokes; To me, talking in funny ways about the things you love most, you want most in this life and work most to get is just a way of disconnecting; It’s helpful to me to have an opposite opinion, feeling and thinking to the typical one; I like to read critical thinking writings, I enjoy atheist writings, I want to counterbalance the one view of Orthodox church with something else; If this is humor, then so be it; I agree, telling a joke which starts with Jesus on the cross can be highly offensive to others, so I must be careful when telling it; But other than that, religion jokes are fine with me.

So this message ends like this: Do you know what Pavlov did when his dog died? He kept on feeding him.

Not this year. This year: perfect! I feel great about this.

After putting effort into living healthy (from eating to sports, from sleeping to having a certain posture), this is a very promising result. I feel like saying: Ya-hoo!

If you’d like to join me in my quest for a better life, I’d be happy to assist you.

1. A long-awaited joy brings you more happiness than an everlasting joy
I was at a conference by Bruno MEDICINA on the 29th of March and he told at least one great think: (approximate understanding by me)
“If you wish to be happy, don’t try to be happy all the time. It’s a better thing for your happiness to have just peaks of happiness. Don’t try to satisfy all your needs all of the time.”

And this got me into one thought I long had: the most important thing in life is not a win, is not a victory, it’s all about fighting. In life, this is translated into struggling, having bad-bad times for a good victory. Giving up on good things just to enjoy them better later.

This is all in life: the struggle, the permanent fight for something better, even if you don’t ever get that close. To me, a dog never letting go to something he bites is an example of winning.

This is the paradigm by which I analyze people: if you fight a lot to beat your state, to fight against your condition, to overcome genetics, to destroy external barriers and, in spite of all that, still manage to continue fighting (not winning, just keep on the fight), then, my friend, you are the winner.

Life is not a winning course, it’s all about keeping fights.

Coming back to Sunday’s experience: I was at a conference on self-development (this is for the spirit). What did I do next? I went to a fair on books (for the mind). Next? I went to a body-building saloon (for the body). At home, I mostly worked for me, for the people who hired me, for the people that host me at home in Bucharest. (personal development, money) At the same time, I didn’t have time to meet with my friends. (bad social, but I’ve just seen them two days before)

To me this is self-development: a struggle. A fight for something better, in spite of all odds. The very joy you get after a fight (won or not) is better than the joy itself.

Sure, going to conferences is fun, but life (and self-development) is a bit more unpleasant than that.

2. Always think twice before paying for something
Example number two: Sunday I tried to buy a tea at the Body Mind Spirit festival I took part to. By following a lot of the vendor’s advice, I didn’t have time to consider two variables (it’s better to consume pineapple in fruit form than as a tea, and I might have spent too much money on that particular tea). And I bought the item fast. (and somewhat wrong)

How could this have been avoided? Simple: I just had to think a little longer on the process of buying. The vendor tricked me into buying fast, and I didn’t take a good decision. The total cost of the tea is relatively small (3 Euros per box), but I did gained a valuable experience.

Things to go home with: before buying, reserve a little time to think things over. It’s easier to do that than to work for that same amount of money.

3. Read only quality newspapers
Let me tell you about a thing that I’ve learned while at the Metro. I was traveling by Metro last Sunday, coming home from a central place in Bucharest (you’re right, the festival). One I was to sit down on a bench, I accidentally hit one fellow traveler. The traveler saw I had three newspapers with me, so he asked me for a newspaper in return for his forgiveness. I hesitated (I wasn’t paying attention, but he was kind of rude), but I gave him the newspaper. This got me into thinking: how important was that free newspaper that I was carrying?

And it hit me: it was of little value to none. I would have done a much better action by reading only quality newspaper (even if older), rather than read poor quality newspapers of today.

Bad and new is much worse than great and old. Life is short, don’t read poor stuff.

4. There is no free lunch
Tuesday evening I went to an MBA fair at InterContinental Bucharest hotel. Great event, I must say (although the waiting times were not that beautiful, the experience of talking for 10-20 minutes to an MBA official, usually directors of programs, was a great time for me).

I went at the fair with this idea in mind: there is no such thing as a MBA who will give you scholarships just because you’re smart. Well, it seems I was wrong, I was offered some three examples of MBAs with scholarships. Whoops. There was a problem:
a. You should be able to prove that you can’t bring that money yourself (and it’s hard to explain why, if you have all the professional qualities to join the club, you still can’t pay it for yourself);
b. The scholarship does not cover total costs, and in most cases it’s not even half the money (for 20% of the sum given as scholarship, surely you can find a better-quality MBA elsewhere; 20% of value shouldn’t make you favor a not-that-good quality MBA);
c. All three persons with whom I spoke left me the impression that they wish for something back; I won’t detail this, but they didn’t see that they were genuinely interested in helping me as a person taking a good decision; What is the interest of offering a scholarship for an MBA? There advantages in scholarships-offerings are getting good students, getting international students, but no donation or charity is usually involved.

So, I left with the impression that if I wish to do an MBA I must study GMAT in my spare time and I should look for a quality MBA, not for one that offers scholarships.

One year ago I was writing:

In March 2008 I talk to quite a few persons in PR and I confront them about these two premises: “PR is all about peace” (it’s mostly true, in their opinion), “PR is on saying true things, but mostly positive” (I think they would say true, but no clear answer was given). And one person gives me reasons for the “say only positive things”: you don’t say positive things, you are just so much impersonating with the company, that the true things are mostly positive (OK, and probably you control a few others). Anyhow, it was an argument that if I have the urge to say mostly negative things about a company, then (again) there is a problem between the values of the company and mine: it’s not normal to work for a company for which you see mostly bad things. Then I think: what company and institutions I would recommend as great? Google, GMP (Romanian advertising & PR company; I mostly like them for their works, this generally does not extend to their clients, except, say, Itsy Bitsy radio) are fine, but most of the people from Obor marketplace (in Bucharest, Romania) are great. These are the companies or institutions I would present nicely in perfect accordance to my values. Not a very long list to work for in PR. Again, a problem on personal values: I can’t fit with any organization’s values. Creating financial reports for a company you don’t value 100% may be fine, but being the voice of that company with the external world can lead to problems.

What changed from that time?
1. I am working as a Search Engine Optimization specialist (see my blog about SEO) for Webvertise;
2. I am working indirectly for Google (the one company I best view in this world);
3. I am working for other companies also (Webvertise clients and freelancing clients);
4. Some things I do at work involve not following my own values.

So what changed in my perception?
1. I realized working for the best company you can imagine is great (and Google is really great);
2. Not working with the ideal companies is fine;
3. I can work for a company even if this doesn’t follow 100% my values; Sure it would be great if it did, but working in a less-than-perfect environment is fine also;
4. I still love my job.

_________________
Bottom line: You can still live a decent life, even if not working for the perfect company. I’d love to work directly for Google and do everything 100% perfect, but a lower percentage of value-to-results ratio is good enough. And that’s actually an improvement. Still, switching to SEO from PR seems to have been a good career decision.

1. I need quite a few money if I ever decide to go to Navodari
This may seem like a no-brainer, but for me it was not obvious that I needed quite a few money to go to Navodari (I now live in Bucharest, for almost 8 years). What will the money bring? Safety, a net which can catch me if I fall.

The alternative is simple: be so good as a professional, that I can’t possibly fail in anything I do in the online area from Navodari.

Both requirements are quite tricky. What’s important to know is that I need either a financial stability for a few years or be a great professional;

What are my actions for this?
a. Try to earn more money; This should be simple; All I have to do is continue doing what I do now that brings me money and, hopefully, to be able to save more money; No dead-line imposed, but a general objective;
b. Try to improve myself; This includes (and is not limited to) write better in English (the purpose of this blog), be a better professional at Search Engine Optimization (the purpose of GetSeoIdeas.com blog), be more productive (the goal at work); Having a portfolio of clients and improving my online networking skills should also help; I should be physically fit;

2. Focus on the positive things in life
I was talking to my friend (old mate, used to live in the same room, along with two other guys while a student in 2002-2003) about our common past. What I’ve noticed about the past:
a. Oh, those time were great; Lovely times, beautiful life, great friendships; (It’s also a sign that people tend to remember only good memories in the past – see this article: “We Don’t Remember the Bad Stuff So Well”);
b. During that time, I focused on a few bad things;
c. Focusing on those bad things didn’t bring any obvious advantage.

Come to think about it, I’ve had a great life, but I focused on some bad things (and this focus didn’t bring me value).

Now I looked at today’s life. There are two aspects:
a. Life;
b. Work.

I think I have a great life, and a wonderful work. Sure, there are things to improve, but the bottom line is that my life and job are very close to being perfect.

What will I win if I focus on the negative thing? Aside frustration, not too many things can be changed easily.

What will I win by focusing on the positive things? “Oh, what a beautiful life! Oh, what a beautiful job!”

There are some things to keep a close eye on (I seem a little brain-dead), but, all-in-all, it’s a pretty neat way of thinking.

What will my actions be on this?
a. Try to emphasis positive things in life;
b. Capture the moment; Smile, laugh if you have to, but, oh!, be so happy;
c. Only focus on negative things if you can make your life better.

PS: I’ll look at this blog post years from now and I’ll probably thank myself for good ideas. But why not start thanking myself right now?

I launch today yet another category in my blog: Life changes.

I hope that I’ll benefit from writing these changes (this should help me implement them better), while you, my readers, will enjoy the ride.

Thanks for being with me all this long.