Some thoughts on bullying

Some recent experiences made me want to write something on bullying.

According to Wikipedia,

Bullying is a form of abuse. It comprises repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful individual or group abusing those who are less powerful. The power imbalance may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target.

My thoughts on it:
1. Bullying requires an imbalance: the aggressor has power, while the victim is weak;
2. To make things worse (see this quote – Mathew 25:29 on some vicious circles), bullying gives even more power to the aggressor, while the victim gets weaker;
3. The thing that I dislike most about bullying is that I associate it with leading via having a thick skin; You impose your values on the other person via force;
4. As said at the post on aggression, “Feedback should be focus on the idea, not on the person” – one basic theory states; Opposite to this, aggression (and bullying) is, by its nature, an attack on the person, instead of the idea;
5. Have I bullied? Yes, quite a lot in the non-Orthodox period of time (prior to being 15), and some afterward;
6. I noticed something about the bullies in my life: I can never be a friend with someone who bullies me and I have always had problems building friendship with persons whom I bullied; I think that due to its nature (a combination of aggression, intolerance to the other party and attack on the person, not on behavior or thought), bullying is one of the surest way to ruin a friendship;
7. What’s my response to bullying? When I was little (about 3 years old), I was at my aunt’s house for long period of times; She was a teacher and had to leave me from time to time alone in the house; One day she comes home and sees me sitting on the floor (facing the opposite direction), the (previously locked by key) bookcase opened, and some books on the floor; And I was holding a book, tearing it page by page, and continuously saying – “You should not tear apart books”; Until today, the solution I found when I was 3, is still valid: keep on doing the things you do, despite all;
8. More than this, I tend to develop (so, when forced into not doing one thing, I tend to do that thing even more, despite everything);
9. I always thought that after some age, bullying stops (from both the doer and the receiver); I was wrong;
10. How do I encourage bullying from others?
a. In using humor, I tend to mock everything, even myself; This may be interpreted as an invitation to be mocked by others in a harsher way (bullying);
b. Regarding my non-aggression, this may seem as an invitation to be bullied by others;
c. Some atypical things about me (both behavior, and thinking and even looks) may encourage others to consider me a victim;
d. My life’s credos (which include zero revenge and punishment to others) may encourage perpetual bullying;
Personally, while the things above may be considered as an open invitation into bullying, I don’t think it should be so; Bullying has no excuse; It’s just wrong;
11. What’s a more refined way of bullying? Using others as mere tools into getting your aims;
12. Bullying may be considered a form of “Code Red” – a euphemism for a violent extrajudicial punishment in “A few good men” (a favorite film of mine); As said about doing military, I don’t consider that forcing an action is a solution to anything; Why is Code Red wrong? First of all because it’s forced, and second of all because it annihilates any option from the part of the victim; What could the victim do? Nothing; “A few good men”, although not the top movie I like, is one of my favorite movies; One message is simple: Code Red can have disastrous effects, while stopping others in doing Code Red is a best practice;

In conclusion, I will try to avoid bullying others, since I’ve seen some of its bad effects on me and remembered some past events.