Regarding my (little-to-none) aggression

Here are some small thoughts on my (rather non-)aggression.

Here goes:
1. I’ve done Karate (Shotokan and Goju-Kai styles), I now do some other sports, such as weight lifting and running, and I think I have a pretty good physical condition; Yet, I don’t consider that one should be just a bit of an aggressive with others; Me – I tend to think I have power, but I would prefer not to use it; I like to think of myself as powerful, but non-aggressive;
2. At Karate Shotokan, I had to do some fights (simulated, not real), and one aim of the exercises was to hit the opponent in such a way that the person could only feel a pinch; So you do a real hit, but at the end of the blow you stop just in time not to do real damage; I had problems coordinating my punches, and to solve this, I hit with real power, but not on target, but rather near the target; Thus, instead of hitting the body, I was hitting the air; The same algorithm can be applied to aggression – I find it difficult to control the “right” amount of aggression to use and thus, I avoid aggression altogether;
3. To me, although baptized when I was a little baby, the Orthodox life began mostly when I was about 15; Prior to being a practicing Orthodox, I tend to think of myself as having aggressive behavior; Therefore, I tend to associate aggression with non-Orthodox thinking;
4. I also like father’s Nicolae STEINHARDT thinking in “Happiness Diary“; He says something similar to this: he knows he contradicts 1 Corinthians 6:18-19:

¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

(this quote says that fornication is the most compromising, and fully engages the human being). In spite of that, he considers the sin of being upset and angry is much worse; He then gives the example of a person who enters a store, a bus, a tram, an office or sits at a queue, is pissed off and yells, says bad words and steps away from typical behavior; That person, Nicolae STEINHARDT claims, totally breaks the connection with God; The argument is that these bad words are not simple things as being upset, but show a human spirit in total opposition with the world created by God; He then gives the quote from Saint Apostle James (James 3:2):

² We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

5. I tend to be aggressive in communication via ideas, not raising voice; So, I tend to say hard truths and sometime offensive opinions; To me, this is too close to being truth to yourself to change it;
6. “Feedback should be focus on the idea, not on the person” – one basic theory states; Opposite to this, aggression is, by its nature, an attack on the person, instead of the idea;
7. What’s the reply to aggression? How to react when being attacked? My favorite writer in this life, Horia-Roman PATAPIEVICI, was interviewed by “Adevarul” and had an algorithm similar to this: in order to disarm aggressiveness, you have to let it pass by you, as difficult as it may be; He also said that you can have a dialog with violence acts only you admit their validity;
8. To me, the aggression (be it verbal or physical) is a sort of stress; What’s the answer to stress? How about the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response? I like this reaction: “Many animals freeze or play dead when touched in the hope that the predator will lose interest.” (Wikipedia)
9. Thus, my reaction to aggression is simple: I do nothing, say nothing; You have to be very close to me to receive a reply on an aggressive note; Other than that, any kind of aggression (physical or verbal, made by yourself or a social group) gets one reply and one only: silence and ignore; Then I have to apply my favorite quote, from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines movie:

Terminator: “Desire is irrelevant. I am a machine!“

After an aggression, I still have to be a good Christian; This passage (Matthew 5:43-48) applies:

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

10. Recently, I’ve had the occasion to see this pattern repeatedly – on one hand non-aggression is seen as a lack of maturity and to get more mature I need to do military service; First, for the non-aggression, seen as a lack of maturity – I think this is a misconception; What’s power? Is it being able to control yourself? Is it being able to do what you like and not do what you don’t like? Is it having physical power? Because I think I have most of these; Or is it, at some people consider, an ability to impose your point of view on others using manipulative tactics? To me, the latter affirmation is false;
11. Now for the part with “to get more mature, one needs to do military service”; What would military don’t do to me? It won’t bring me any more physical force, more structured thinking; What would the military do to me? Learn (in one way or another) how to handle a Code Red (a euphemism for a violent extrajudicial punishment in “A few good men“), how to blindly follow orders (this is so not like me) and finally how to deal with some imposing things onto others (via brute force); Army might also be associated with just a difficult time from which might get some insights; My answer to a Code Red is simple: if I think I’m right, I will do my best not to change my behavior; I don’t agree with following orders and rules just for the reason of following order and rules; I consider manipulation via brute force as a wrong thing; Finally, while the Cabirian model of solving a crisis (smile with optimism in life, no matter how harsh life is), I don’t consider that self-torture in any way can bring very good kind of insights; A crisis may be a good way of learning things, or it may just be a traumatic experience;

These were my thoughts on aggression.